i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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