Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
