eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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