Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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