Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I need to align my fucking chakras
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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