What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He passed out mid-signature
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
