I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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