we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
