We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
