I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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