Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
