I forgot how hot balto sounded
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
