I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
