I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
