I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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