Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
