I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
