what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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