At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
