That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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