my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
