..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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