Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
