i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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