whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
