Porn is love you can see.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
