You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
So vagazzling was a success
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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