At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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