just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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