Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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