Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
