Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Acid is not a monday night drug
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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