ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
