he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
