some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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