why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My pussy is not your playground.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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