The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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