I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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