I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
