He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
the liver wants what the liver wants
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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