I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The Olympian is in my bed
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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