i just had sex bonerless
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
