Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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