We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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