I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
