You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
