so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
