I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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