I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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