we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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