She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
